i want to sit closely
on plastic orange seats

invite you into my row
and place my headphones around your ears

its the mommas and the poppas
'dedicated to the one i love'

my eyes taping it all
the circle moon, penciled onto white plastic subway walls

initials and shapes and tags
one more thing to dream about, unknowingly

the stranger in my dream walks by me in the park
i only notice him the second time around

down syndrome, he walks with his mother
and i wonder if god is playing tricks

to send someone to me in a dream
and let him walk right by

after 'so many months'
i get a letter from you
what i thought was your ghost
turned out to be your shadow

after so many months
of you,
considering me
a stranger.

after so many months,
uncle buddy died,
after so many years
of him,
considering her
too far.

what they thought was his time to fight
was his time to wait
what he thought was her voice
were voices in his head
and he got skinny without her by his side.

trying to laugh like he did
to let his children think he could still live
without her

meeker, thinner, softer
than i ever was
you left my side
and i came back to greet this life

i thought it was time to fight
thought it was time to reach you in the dark
and i fought fought fought
with fierce eyes
tiger-ed lips pursed to the jungle we braved
left
with cuts and bruises

but with tough and callous feet
i walked away, continued
walked in front
because without afternoon's shadow
i had no way of knowing where you were
when you left my side

when she left his side
his feet became soft
preferring to walk on sand
we let you go, dear Uncle.